March 5th, 2024

Thoughts pour in and turn obsessive on the good days. Only while I work. Thoughts of missing a drink. Walking down the beer and wine aisles everything jumps out at me. Every bottle or can looks as intriguing as the next. The need to drink doesn’t exist. The want to drink doesn’t exist. Yet I find myself obsessing over the thought of missing a drink. Only comes on the good days while I’m working. I guess I’ll n the bad days I’m obsessing too much on all the little things that are irritating me that a drink doesn’t cross my mind. If it does it’s immediately shot down because I remember it’s a temporary solution. I know where drinks take me. Nights I don’t remember. Pain and hurt I cause not only myself but the people around me as well. Yet on the good days missing it floods my mind and I’m unable to back myself out of the thoughts. Missing it is a better trade off than wanting to drink I guess. I must tell on myself as I’ve done before. I don’t want to miss it. I want to enjoy the good days at work without the obsessiveness of missing one drink.